An apple box has the same slightly browned, light tan color of the crust of an apple pie. The former is as indicative of film crews, as the latter is – as the expression goes – American. What exactly this strange “coincidence” means is uncertain. But fear not my friends – a crack team of carpenters and bakers are currently conducting intensive studies to solve this most mysterious of phenomena.

When on set, if you ask yourself any of the following questions – “How can I prop this up?” “How can I level this out?” “How can I stand a little taller?” “Ok, it’s take 42, where can I rest my weary bones?” – you will suddenly feel a strange breeze sweep across your face, carrying the softly angelic, far-off whisper of “Aaaapple booox.” With precise dimensions, a smooth, splinter-free finish, rounded, child-proof edges, and cutout handles, you’ll soon be furnishing the entirety of your home with apple boxes.

Meet the whole family: Mr. Full, Half, Quarter, and lil Pancake.

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